


The out dress a king

by SketchLockwood



Category: 15th Century CE RPF, Historical RPF, Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:54:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29195640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SketchLockwood/pseuds/SketchLockwood





	The out dress a king

London  
1465

Elizabeth saw her husband’s eyebrows arch. He had commissioned a doublet of the finest silks and velvets. No expense had been spared to make him look every part the king he was. Yet his eyes had fixed on the man across the room. He looked in an almost adoring way at the Earl of Warwick. She law the emotion in his eyes even if it was almost imperceptibly present on his face. Love, and hatred, both combined. “He’s done it again.” Edward whispered. Elizabeth knew what, did not have to ask. Yet, he continued. “He’s done it again the son of a bitch.” 

Elizabeth sat back, watching as Warwick greeted half the nobles of England with a softness allowed by no one else. Even the hardest men in the room softened to Warwick’s presence. That infuriated Elizabeth. She had tried it all. Tried everything and whilst one or two men and women outside of her kin openly accepted her, she knew it was out of tolerance and not love. 

Tolerance of her through their respect and loyalty to her husband. 

She jumped as Edward’s boomed across the room. Everyone fell silent. “Cousin! Come!” He beckoned Warwick over. Elizabeth saw the smirk on John Neville’s face. Saw the eye roll Warwick dared to give as he turned and walked toward them. How she hoped her husband slapped that attitude off his petulant face...

“Your grace.” Warwick offered her the lowest of bows. Insultingly low. She frowned. He turned to her husband. “Edward?” 

“I swear, if I did not know better, I would think you do this deliberately?”

“Do, what, your grace?” He feigned confusion. 

“Our dress me. Every damn time. Is that new?” He pointed to the earls’ doublet. 

“This?” He pointed at it. “No, this is just something I pulled out.”

“It looks newly made, my lord.”

Warwick glared as he looked at her. As though she was allowed no word in her husbands court. 

“I have rarely worn it, your grace.” 

Edward smirked. “And cousin, I hear you threw the most obnoxiously lavish feast for your brother George.”

“Yes.” She saw his lips twitch up. Obnoxious swine. “We drank and ate and were right merry. William drank his body weight in beer.” Hastings grinned as he walked by. “My brother John was simply glad I was footing the bill. He was reluctant to see all the courses until he knew he was only funding the hot baked custards.” 

Elizabeth gipped. Oh how she hated custard. He had said that deliberately. The swine. The whoreson. It drew attention to her. Cecily Neville smirked and chuckled as she spoke to her beloved George. She heard words. How it was not Queen like to gip and gag. Curse them, all of them, especially Warwick. 

“Your grace.” Warwick’s voice cut into her hearing. “Are you quite well?” She saw his lip still twitching. 

“Very, thank you.” Her tone was haughty, she knew and did not care. 

“My love.” Edward put a hand on her head. “You’ve gone as white as snow. You look positively ill.”

“I’m fine. Please don’t make a fuss.” She whispered at first, slapping her husbands arm away as he tried to stand her up. She shouted. “I said I’m fine!” That gained more attention than she wanted. That gained far too much attention. The hall was silent. That was until Edward waved a hand for them to continue. 

“Don’t ever do that again.” He whispered to her. Warwick heard, she knew. 

“Trouble in paradise?” He dared ask. He dared to say those words. How she wanted to slap him. Oh Christ how she wanted to slap him. 

Edward stroked a hand up and down her back. “Don’t look so furious Elizabeth.” He kissed her cheek. She wanted to slap him, slap him for taking Warwick’s side. “She’s pregnant, Dick, forgive her. We all know what women are like when...” he broke off from his words as she rose to her feet, causing silence yet again as she stormed off. Warwick grinned as he looked at her, she knew it. Though he’d not show that to Edward, and not a single whoreson in the room would tell her husband. 

Treasonous swines, each.

**  
Early 1466  
Windsor castle.

“Are you sure this is a...” John spoke, looking around. 

“A good idea? What’s wrong with it.” Warwick shrugged. “Besides, you got a better idea?”

“Yes.” John snapped. “Stop with the pettiness.” 

“Oh please. Like you can say you don’t find this funny?” There was a moment of silence and they both burst out laughing. “My point is proven. You can say you don’t find it funny John Tiptoft, you casually pretend you don’t have the same sense of humour but I know you, you forget that.” John chuckled as Warwick gripped the shoulders of the man. 

John knew him, a tailor. The king’s personal tailor. “Tell me, James.” John saw the old man visibly deflate. 

“Tell you what?” James pretended he knew not of what Warwick spoke. James pointed non-discreetly in John’s direction. He sighed. 

Warwick laughed as he looked around? “That old boy? Yeah, he knows. James. He knows.”

“And you made it blindingly obvious something was going on if I didn’t.” John hushed them both as there were sounds of footsteps. They continued as the serving girl hurried past, head down. 

It was going on for ten. They were here past their welcome. Yet Warwick had insisted it had to be now. Why could they not just have caught James in the streets of London? Because, according to Dick, they’d stand out like sore thumbs accosting the kings tailor after curfew. 

“Go on.”

“Thank you.” Richard grinned. “Say thank you to my glamorous assistant, James.” 

“Don’t make me slap you.” John said, only half jokingly. 

“He’d only do it once, don’t worry James, I know your stance on violence. I have this.” Warwick practically skipped down the corridor with the man. “So tell me.” 

“He has gone for red velvet.”

“Red?” Warwick stopped. “Oh no, he will look drained.” He shrugged, continuing. “Oh well. Did he order anything else?”

“Blue wool. He says he is feeling the cold.” 

“Blue? Which blue?” James stopped, showing him a sample. 

“Positively disgusting. John, come along.” Warwick beckoned. “Anything else?” 

“I shouldn’t discuss this. His grace...”

“Is getting paranoid that I am out dressing him? Is that not the point James, we have a deal. He shorted you one too many times for money. Call this revenge in the safe way.” 

James bit his lip. Looking to John who shrugged. 

“I’m not saying a word.” He confirmed. “That man is scarier than the king.” 

“He says the nicest things.” Warwick grinned. 

“I’d recommend green, for you, my lord.” 

“Green?” 

“This velvet, with a silk lining. I can make the silk visible at the sleeve. Maybe in this cream.” 

John coughed loudly as he noted the Queen on the corridor. She hurried toward them. He leant against the wall. James looked like to die of shame as the Queen turned the corner. John closed his eyes, expecting to hear her target her anger, her suspicion on Warwick. 

“James.” She said coldly. He opened his eyes to see Dick gone. Cursed under his breath. “John.” She looked him up and down. “Why is James holding those samples. You don’t seem like the type to simply ask for clothing recommendations.”

He stumbled over his words. “I’m not.” 

“Then you’re feeding back to Warwick?”

“Yes... no... what?” 

James put a hand over his face. 

“I’ll be telling my husband. You know how he feels about Warwick and his extravagances. We did know Warwick had someone loose lipped.” She glared at James. “Why do you think I asked my husband to pretend he wanted new clothes?” James shrunk in on himself as he backed against the wall, looking as though he wanted the stone to suck him up. “We never expected it would be you.”

She stormed away then. It was several second before Dick popped up from around the corner. “She gone?” Both men glared at him. 

“Sorry old man.” Dick tapped the tailor’s head. “I think you lost your second most illustrious client.” He winked at John. “Go ahead and make me the doublet anyway.” James hurried away. 

“That was mean.” John slapped his arm. 

“Leaving you all alone with the mean nasty lady?” Warwick pretend pouted. “Besides.” He said as quickly. “What happened to I’m not scared of her? Hmm?”

“I’m not.”

“Yes ma’am, no ma’am, what ma’am?” 

“Fuck you.” 

“John!” John jumped at Ned’s voice erupting from the royal apartments. By the time the door opened, Dick was gone. 

He rolled his eyes. Cursed under his voice and turned. “Your grace?” He kept his tone level, tried to hide the smirk. 

**

Warwick stood in his bedchamber as Edward lay on the bed, lounging in just a shirt and hose. John stood beside him. Neither man looked suitably repentant, Edward thought.

That would not last for long. 

He had made them wake at five that morning. Forced himself from slumber at four only to he ready to receive their sulking presence. Both men looked exhausted. He had exploited his power for this. They had no choice but to comply. 

“Do you know why you’re both here?” Warwick shook his head. John did not bother to lie. How could he? Ned had spent hours, literal hours, the night before ranting about loyalty. Only dismissing Worcester when the man had looked as though he would sleep standing up. Uttering the words ‘this is not over’ before Tiptoft had left. Oh yes, it was not. He did not care how many sighs had happened. How dare they? 

John of all people... Will? He was at least Warwick’s brother in law. Could that not be understood? 

This was betrayal in its most vicious form. 

“That’s interesting. One man does, one doesn’t. Anyone would think there was only one guilty man here...” he saw Warwick looked to John. Dick showed nothing on his face as Worcester looked ahead, giving away less. “Oh he didn’t say a word...” Ned barked eventually. 

“A word?” Dick arched an eyebrow. “I don’t understand why I am here or what I have done. Well I am supposed to have done.” 

“I think you know very well.” He knew his tone was cold, though secretly? He could not help being entertained. 

“If you don’t mind your grace.” John spoke. He was supposed to be the quiet one! He was about to object when John spoke again, his words filled Edward with fury, making him sit upright in a second. “You do seem amused, not irked. So I do not understand...”

“How dare you? You’re both here because I command it. You are to obey my every command.”

“Which we have.” John said firmly. “We are here.”

“Which reminds me.” Warwick smirked. “Why are we here? You still have not me.”

“You both lost me my best tailor last night.”

“You lost yourself him, if I remember.” John said. “You dismissed him.”

“Because he was telling Dick everything.”

“If that’s the case?” Worcester said with a shrug. This attitude did not suit him, Edward knew he’d have to shoot him down. “Maybe Dick was just interested.”

“Bollocks.” Edward spat. “He wants to out dress me! As though he were a king himself.” 

“I don’t think I’m a king, Ned.” Warwick shook his head. “If I can afford the best clothes? Well that is not my fault. Should I be forced to dress in the clothes of the common man? Would that please you?”

“Yes.” Edward spat, surprised as Dick continued as though he had not spoken. 

“Besides, you say you lost your best tailor. If he was aware that you were so upset I sometimes, what did you call it? Our dress you? And he did tell me anything through John? Which I assure you he didn’t. Then perchance he was not your best tailor.” Edward growled as Dick dared to be so insufferable.

Who the fuck did he think he was?

Edward looked to John. “I expected better of you! You’re not Hastings. You have no affinity to my cousin!”

“Him?” Dick arched an eyebrow before he dropped to his knees laughing. “Oh please, you’re too funny.” Edward frowned as the men before him looked at each other. Tiptoft too started laughing. “He did fuck my sister after all.”

“Crude.” John laughed. “We were married, that doesn’t mean.”

“Oh we had few secrets.”‘Warwick giggled. “Even if I didn’t want to know them all.” 

John blushed scarlet looking away from Dick.

“I’m sorry, can you both LOOK AT ME!” He bellowed. “This isn’t funny.”

“No.” Tiptoft said, trying not to burst back into laughter. “This is serious.” Both men before him took a breath before they cracked up once again. Edward himself felt his lips twitch into a smirk. Jesu, but they were right. 

“I promise.” Dick said as he composed himself. “I will not speak with your tailors to get the secrets as you call them. Not that I ever have, and I am sure Jak does promise too?”

Jak?

“Yes. I do. It was quite reproachable of me to express an interest.” 

“I’m glad you... wait? An interest?”

“Yes, I simply care how you’ll look. I was going to advise you that red will do nothing for your complexion and light blue will flush you. You’re more a black man if I am honest. I can pull off red, maybe a burgundy in your case would work.” John shrugged. 

“Oh burgundy! I hear there are some lovely burgundy velvets.” Dick said. “Yes I’ll get my tailor to attend you.” 

“Would his name be James?” Edward scoffed.

“No.” Dick arched a mocking eyebrow. “His name is Robert. He chooses all my fabrics, and indeed he is excellent.” 

Edward sighed waving a dismissive hand to them both. 

He knew he had lost. Knew there was no point continuing with this. No matter how Elizabeth did wish he him to reproach Dick into submission... it would not happen.


End file.
